last weekend i went to atlanta, then to birmingham and back, and

everything is changing.

a murder of crow flew over my head, each of them cawing, as i arrived at my grandfather’s house. he is dying. i have absolutely no idea what i will do without him.

a few days before one of my best friends was married. it was a great celebration, but the seat next to mine at the rehearsal dinner was vacant. someone special was supposed to have been there, but i never saw her. there was no phone call, no chance meeting, only a simple text message acknowledging my arrival to the city. i left it unreplied. i feel unhinged.

i drove a lot. i thought it would bring a sense freedom, but its where the memories haunt the most.

it rained on monday. afterwards, a heavy white mist (or was it low laying clouds or maybe ghosts?) clung between pine covered alabama hills. the streets made a great swooshing sound. i wish you could have smelled it. i’d say its like home, but as time passes i am questioning just where home may lie.

i didnt see my friend BEN. he used to have cancer but now he’s pretty ok so seeing him isnt quite as urgent as before. im glad he stopped dying.

ive found that i sort of enjoy saying as little as possible when seeing old friends because it causes little awkward silences. i feel at home inside that silence.

on thursday i met DAVID, a dylan-devendra-like hairy fairy with sufjanian aspirations. he is currently writing, recording, and releasing a song everyday for an entire year. his solo performance at lenny’s was captivating. he played a child’s guitar with flames painted on the front, and i drank a pbr tall boy like a good hipster.

not bad kings but the good kings, dan and james of WARM IN THE WAKE, are two of the most talented people i know. im proud to call them friends and happy to have seen them play after so many years.

this laundry list is so melodramatic that i’ve hesitated in posting it for nearly a week.