globe trotting…

something weird is happening.

last night i got home and my front door was locked. but i dont lock my front door. ever. its one of the nice things about living in a small town…you can leave your front door unlocked and nobody will bogart your stuff. but what may happen is that a conscientious snoop will lock your door after theyve come in, gone through your underwear, eaten a little debbie and moved your globe from the left side of your desk to the right side. yes, thats right, my globe seems to move every few days and i never touch the sucker.

so, like i said, something weird is happening.

i am beginning to wonder if somebody traded me for someone else. that maybe, im not really me anymore. that somebody transplanted me in my sleep with an alternate me. i feel like myself and i look like myself, but im not acting like it so much. over the past 4 days ive probably traveled over 50 miles on my new vintage roadbike (yes, i know new vintage is an oxymoron), i cant stop reading, i have the compulsive desire to study even after im prepared for lectures, and ive majorly cut back in my computer use. although, that last fact is hard to tell because of all the posting ive been doing here. i even feel like making art. a jared who exercises, cant stop studying and isnt hooked to his computer? what sort of doppleganger is this?

but anyway, i just wanted to say that if you happen to be the door locking culprit then ive one-up’ed you. i brought my house keys with me to work today and i wont have to crawl through the window to enter my own house. and i am about to bike over to the hardware store to get copies made and im gonna hide the keys in super secret locations so you cant lock me out anymore. but if you want to come over, thats cool. you know you are always welcome and there is always a little debbie and some ginger ale for you. just stop moving my globe, please. its weird.

oh, m. ward released a new record today. go buy it. actually, buy two copies and leave one next to my stereo the next time you decide to make your secret visit.