merry christmas charlie brown

from washington dc on christmas eve:
tonight marks the first christmas i have spent away from my family. and i am ok with it. i am sitting in my apartment amidst dirty clothes that have missed the hamper and old papers that missed the garbage can. i still have not unpacked my suitcase from my trip (more to come on that in a future post). there is no christmas tree, there are no lights. but really, i am ok with it. my radiator is hissing and its hot dry air is fighting a battle with the cool air brought in by the open window. the city has been quiet, with the exception of a few minutes ago when across the back courtyard a loud “HO HO HO, MERRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!!” was followed by a child’s voice exclaiming, “Mama! I just heard Santa Claus!!!” i immediately smiled and imagined how the child’s parents had just put together a creative ruse to get the kid to bed, for santa never comes when one is still awake. tonight santa claus came for me in the form of a single cardboard box. it was sent by my friend leah. its one of the best christmas presents ive ever received from a friend- inside the package was a box of qtips (the brand name, not the knock-offs!), a box of little debbie oatmeal creme pies (which i have been without sense moving to dc, for some mysterious reason), three yellow rubber duckies, some christmas chocolate, and a copy of “the moviegoer,” a novel written by southern existentialist walker percy. i am going to start reading it tonight with an oatmeal creme pie in hand and clean ears.
tomorrow morning i imagine that i will wake in enough time to get to church so i can sing some christmas carols. ill walk, and maybe say “merry christmas” to the few dog walkers i pass along the way. it shouldnt be too cold out…the weather was quite warm today. i will walk past the white dome of the capitol building and past the one house a few blocks over that has the mechanized santa claus in the front lawn. all he does is wave his arm back and forth, but with a metal-on-metal screech that makes your ears hurt. and then maybe without having to look too hard ill find an open cafe and have some brunch. after that i am going to the ellipse to see the national christmas tree, and as i stand there under the shadow of the giant tree i will think of you all and wonder what you are doing. and ill hope that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, that you are as ok with things as i am.
merry christmas.