hello kittens,

yes it’s that weekly time we all gather round the electrodes and take a glance at what favorite magical musical elliptical platter is spinning away in joey’s fat ride. this week it’s really fresh from the wrapper, a few hours fresh in fact. ah. the smell of cellophane, the struggle to get a fingernail under a corner, the failed attempts to get the sticker off of the top in one whole piece without leaving even a sliver on the case - a new cd. a good cd. this week it’s RAZORLIGHT. you know me and brit bands. this thing is really great - just what i’ve been looking for, a band to get attached to. It’s Beatles meet Sex Pistols meet the Police - if that’s possible. so, jump on the streetcar and dostle down to the record shop and give razorlight a listen. or, get me to upload it to the ftp - not that i’m into that sort of criminal activity. finally, a freaking good cd with just as good artwork.

cheer-ee-oh,

-joey

i feel like writing something.

word on the street is that you are now an audience of four. wow. impressive. an increase in readership by a whole i-have-no-idea-because-i-am-bad-at-math percentage. zingers for whomever can do the math correctly.

ok, so the reality is that i feel like sending something off into space, but i have absolutely no idea of what to say. so here’s to ramblin’. lawd, i was born a ramblin’ man.

yeah, i just sang that song. more zingers to whomever knows the band.

no no no…no zingers. thats too easy cuz its the allman brothers, and everybody knows that.

do you ever wonder about that time in first grade when you peed your pants? really. like if traffic lights and flapping butterfly wings is what gives fate a shape, then what did that big, wet, warm accident after lunch on the playground influence who you are and what you are doing right now? if you hadnt (who am i kidding…i hadnt) done that, hadnt stayed on the tire swing too long, or drank that extra chocolate milk, would things be different or not? would you be more confident with yourself? more succesful? you could be a rockstar. instead you end up a mortgage broker with an suv and an average looking wife who watches friends every night at 6:30. and your boss, he is the guy who made fun of you. he is the kid who first noticed the darker shade of blue in the crotch of your jeans. and you, in adamant appeal, screaming, crying, “hey, i aint peed in my pants! the tire swing had water in it!” or, “i didnt pee in my pants! brad shaddix spilled his orange juice at lunch and it got on me!”

in fifth grade kevin pooped in his pants. i dont remember kevin’s last name. but i do recall how he, because of this giant drying, crusting load, walked around funny all afternoon and sat in his desk with all his weight shifted to one side. (you know, so he wouldnt squash it.) what if i met kevin now, years later? what would i say? maybe i would congratulate him on his mortgage broker job. and when he introduces his average looking wife i wonder, “does she know that the man she married was destined to be something great, but because he pooped his pants in fifth grade he is a lesser man?”

well, thats exactly what happend, actually. poor kevin. but i guess he’s no different than anyone else. we’ve all crapped in our pants. and he’s just trying to make a livin’ and doin’ the best he can.

.

so its been a while since i last posted, and in an attempt to keep this going and put up something partially interesting but largely self referential and aggrandizing i thought i would post a list i created. this list, while fairly comprehensive, still has some gaps but it might be useful in finding out about a number of things that i obsess over, some of my pet peeves and other things that just make very little sense whatsoever. that is, if you even care about knowing me in this manner. but since there are only about 3 of you out there that read this, it doesnt matter anyway. 10 points for whomever knows anything about the more obscure references in the groovy list.

so, here goes.

things groovy:

Rainy days

Vinyl lp’s

Girls who eat cheeseburgers

Collarbones and Hipbones

Driving at night

The city, the country, but not the suburbs

Antiques

hot goth chicks

simplicity

Adults who write notes on their hand

brunettes

Being late

Bicycles

Hotel rooms

Addition, but not subtraction

Lebanese food

All celestial bodies, but not the sun

Travel

Surprises, but not acting surprised

Second chances

Concept of the trinity

Spelling color “colour”

The colour black

Irony

army surplus goods

q-tips

fireflies

the smell of the library

the “clackety-clack” you hear upon entering the library

summer nights

layered clothing

cold weather

Duchamp

Christian Boltanski

Rothko, Newman, Kline, Motherwell, but not de Kooning or Pollock

Simon Norfolk

Warhol, but not his paintings

Aquafresh

Fortnights instead of two weeks

intelligent children

Good books

Goodwill (toward men, and the thrift store)

Wearing the same thing everyday

Accessorizing

grandparents

humility

Letters by mail

Tennyson, Frost, cummings

Cynicism of reality and romanticism of the ideal

Holly bushes

Daisies

Post structuralism, but not Derrida

Conceptual art
& things contemptable:

Beefcake guys

Passing on, passing away, going home; instead of being dead

School spirit

Christmas spirit

Patriotism and patriotic people

Doctors

Visiting the doctor

Western imperialism

Hipsters who know their hipsters

Yuppies who think they’re hipsters

Alcohol

Unruly children

Self-proclaimed artists

The phrases: “in love,” “relationship with Jesus,” & “You know what I’m saying”

Kinkos, Wal Mart, Fed Ex, Pepsi, Wendy’s, KFC, The Gap and Old Navy, but not K Mart, Sonic, UPS, Coca-Cola or H&M

Cell phones

Pseudo intellectuals

Flight attendants

Gallery assistants

Arrogance

Selfishness

Potheads

Phony cultural relics and faux antiques

Grease. The oily substance and the movie.

the beach

Femi-nazis

Hyperbole

Beer guzzling baseball cap frat boys

Hot sorority girls.

Jocks, but not athletes

Myself, in most situations

Rednecks

Christians who think Jesus is a Republican

Christian products, culture, music, art and t-shirts

Baby talk

Impressionism, Realism, Romanticism, Surrealism

Chinese food

Looking like my dad

Sounding like my dad

Swimming

Ebonics

Paperbacks with broken spines

High school football

Morning breath

hello all in marvelous country,

this weeks edition of pick o’ the week features a band i was just introduced to last week. hailing from athens, ga - now it’s overhead - gets the prized position of spinning deep within the caverns of my montero sport factory stereo, lasers pulsing, the whole deal. i can’t believe i’ve never heard of these guys before, wait, yes i can - there are only like 865,000 bands out there. but sometimes, you find one that just works - this is it. now it’s overhead is for fans of remy zero, the postal service, and R.E.M. (who they’re currently opening for in this year’s euro tour. so, check out their site www.nowitsoverhead.com and give “wait in a line”, the new single, a listen.